94673 Special: Tonsil Extravaganza
on October tenth, at ten o'clock (yes, really,) I had an appointment at the hospital to get my tonsils removed. I'd been having near-constant throat aches for the past two to three years, and when the doctors examined my throat, it was a near-unanimous 'yeah, you have horrible tonsils with holes in them. You can keep them, but that will probably mean you'll have throat pain for the rest of your life. Or, you can get them removed, but we do not recommend this. it's very tough on adults.'
I was young, dumb, and unprepared. 'Oh,' I thought, 'surely a few weeks of suffering outweigh a lifetime of Significantly Less Throat Aches.' I was wrong. I was so very wrong. My god how wrong I was. But, I suppose I'll stop complaining and try to tell the story in a semi-linear manner, for as far as I remember.
I went to the hospital sober (as in, no food twelve hours before the operation) and had to wait in a hospital bed for a while until they were ready for me. Then, they wheeled the entire bed into an elevator to a completely different floor, where I was put in a room with a bunch of other people who were also waiting for their operation. The nurse there was very nice, and said I was very good at breathing, whatever that means. After that, it was finally my turn to get operated on, so I was once again wheeled to another room, where like, six different woman doctors fussed over me and attached me to a bunch of different machines. I was told that I was going to be put to sleep. They told me goodnight. And then... there was no transition from awake to asleep at all. I was awake, and then I woke up two hours later or so, weeping uncontrollably and not able to breathe through my nose at all, which was alarming. The nurses said that people wake up from anesthesia crying all the time, and that that's just something people do. Nevertheless, they were still a bit worried for me, so I had to stay a few hours extra. I was given a popsicle and some custard, but I quickly found out that only the popsicle was in any way realistically consumable. Water burned like hell and the custard hurt so bad I started crying. After my few extra hours were over, I was picked up by a family member and brought home, where I immediately went to sleep.
Slept a lot this day, but I did manage to eat some soft bread, as well as some meat cut into tiny pieces. Water still hurt like hell, though, so I barely drank any. I tried some Jello, too, but I had obviously used up the grace period where I could eat so I just went to sleep instead.
Drank a bit of water, but not much. Tried to eat lasagna but it hurt so bad I started crying. Woke up at about 3 AM and played minecraft until, like, 6. Slept the whole day.
No food at all. Mostly slept. Awake briefly in the evening and managed to drink one bottle of water, albeit through pain.
This morning, I tried to take my medicine but instead must have swallowed something wound-related because it felt like I had just bitten something vital off. Left reeling, I sat on my bed with my head against the mattress for a strange amount of time, just trying to recover from whatever that was. Managed two of my four medications but the other two just wouldn't go in no matter what I tried. Watched a bunch of RuPaul's Drag Race (All Stars) and ate some cottage cheese and some Jello. Must've used up my grace period again because I can't even drink a single sip of water now. Medication is a far-off fantasy. Napped all afternoon and woke up around 7 PM. Jesus Christ please make it get a bit better soon. My throat feels like it's closing up, like, breathing-wise. And I don't want to die like this. That would be embarassing.
Does it ever get fucking better. I did not sleep tonight because my jaw and face hurt too much. Managed to take two of the four types of medicine again, albeit with like, half an hour of psyching myself up beforehand. Finally fell asleep during the day after I got a heating pad, but woke up the moment it was no longer warm. Now forcing myself to sit at my computer for at least a bit so I can write this and get some of my video game dailies done. Maybe. Jesus Fuck. I have cola because some people online said that the fizzyness helps against the throat pain. So I'm gonna try to drink some of it. Wish me luck. Didn't eat again today.
okay, managed to drink like, 500 ML of Cola. goes down better than water does, somehow. But I'll just keep drinking it because hydration speeds up the healing process. Worst case I'll just get diabetes or something, but I can cross that bridge when I get to it. Really craving a LOT of foods so instead of eating I'm watching a bunch of Atomic Shrimp 'Weird Stuff in a Can' videos. He's brilliant, by the way. Drank another 500 ML of cola. I feel like I'm probably sufficiently hydrated for today. I'll try some water now, see if the cola made way for water to go through as well.
List of things I want to eat when this is all over:
-a nice, cheap sloppy hamburger.
-a proper steak.
-lovely, crunchy peking duck...
-an entire thing of Quality Street chocolates.
-plain pringles. the ones in the red cans. god yes.
-tacos! like, proper homemade ones with plenty of corn and cheese.
PAIN. I've entered the part of the process where I can't lay down (not even with my head propped up) without my jaw and ears hurting horribly. It doesn't go away when I sit up, either, it takes a really long time to slowly fade away. I haven't slept the last two nights for longer than about an hour at a time, always waking up from the pain. Yes, I take all my pain killers. No, they don't help. I'm SO hungry but I can't even drink, let alone eat. Please let it get at least slightly better soon. Please. I tried a Cup-a-Soup today but it hurt to eat and wasn't even filling. FML. Every time I swallow I taste what I assume the meat that zombies in Minecraft drop tastes like.
Evening Update: Forced myself (and managed!) to eat a bowl of mashed potatoes and some stew. Hurt like hell but nutrients! Fuck Yes. Very happy right now. Hope it won't come back to haunt me.
Actually, somehow, slept around ten hours tonight, so I only woke up around twelve. Didn't do much today except sit around watching some TV. I ate a bit of instant soup today, as well as a part of a soft quiche. I have some cola and vanilla pudding for the rest of the day but honestly I'm not really hungry anymore. I'll try to drink the cola for fluids at least.
The ear/jaw pain is near-constant but I'm trying to ignore it. Switched from taking paracetamol to taking tylenol which I think is an improvement? the pills are easier to swallow at least... It's annoying that it's been a week and I still can't do much but I'm just trying new stuff a bit every day and hoping I'll be able to do stuff like talk and go places again soon. Maybe I can go to the cinema this week? That seems like a pretty low-energy outing.
couldn't sleep at all last night, and then fell asleep at around six or seven in the morning and slept until almost four. Didn't get out of bed until five, and had dinner almost immediately after. Pasta with spinach and tomatoes and some other stuff. I ate all the pasta (it was soft, easy enough to eat) and some of the spinach, but the pieces of tomato felt a bit too daunting still. Ended up finishing about half of the plate, but that's still better than nothing. The pain when swallowing is odd, it seems to be random whether or not a particular sip is going to make me cringe or make me think 'huh, maybe it isn't that bad after all'. I try to drink as much water as possible when it isn't that bad, so I don't have to when it is. I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight or if I'll turn completely nocturnal.
It feels a bit too early to say it's getting better. I'm afraid that if I'll say that it'll immediately reverse. So I won't say it. Knock on wood, and whatnot. A lot of people say that it gets a lot better around day ten, and this is day eight for me, so that's hopeful, too.
Day nine! I went to a nearby corner store today as a test run and Christ, you wouldn't believe how much this week-or-so has weakened me. I was constantly dizzy and near-feverish. I'm really glad that they had self checkout because if I'd have to make human contact on top of all that I think I would've spontaneously died, or something. God. I got some instant pasta, though, so I'm heating that up right now. I think I've lost a lot of weight, which of course isn't all bad (for my body specifically, don't see this as approval of diet culture. fuck that shit, go to therapy), but probably not healthy to lose this much in such a short time.
what I ate today: Instant pasta, some potatoes and carrots, glass of apple juice. Going surprisingly well.
Went to the store again today, this time with an actual grocery list. Dinner (filled pasta with vegetables and ham, a nice soft meal for my tender throat and whatnot) and fruit for one of the people that live in my house (I can't have fruit yet. The acidity will kill my throat or something.) Went better this time, though I'm still very dizzy very easily, and after I got back I kind of felt like sleeping. I fought it, though, since I need to get back to a normal sleeping schedule. The pain has improved! it still hurts, but less, and I've also just kind of gotten used to it. Instant pasta is a godsend, and I ate a muffin today with zero problems. I think I can probably go back to work next week! The only thing that still really bothers me is my voice, it really hurts to talk. But, my work doesn't require much talking, so I'll probably be fine.
homestretch, I think. Went to visit a family member today, and though it was exhausting, I did manage it, so maybe I can start work again on monday. it would be good. I enjoy making money. there's some stuff I still can't eat (Bread, Fruit, Crisps, etc) but I ate a muesli bar with no problems today so it seems like it's improving. still pain with every swallow but I guess I'm used to it at this point? I can tune it out better now.
'looking back'. I no longer feel the need to update this specific page as the pain has mostly passed and I have returned to work. I am very grateful to all the people on Neocities who were very supportive to me while I healed. Thank you all. Being able to eat and drink (almost) normally again is an unparalleled feeling. It's grand. I'm in heaven. I'm going to try and eat those foods I wanted from that list earlier on this page soon. Thank you all, again. Bye for now.