02-10-2020

I've been sick lately. It's annoying, but not especially severe or anything. Just have to
wait it out, and I'll probably be fine in a couple of days. Anyways, that's all for pers-
onal news right now.

I'm struck with the familiar feeling that everyone secretly hates me again. Well, with
'everyone' I really just mean one particular person who I really like to talk to, and they
have been very busy lately, so it probably hasn't even got anything to do with me. So,
if you think about it, the only thing this is showing us is that I'm much too emotionally
attached to this person I barely even know.

But they are very fun to talk to. You ever just... click with someone? Like, immediately? And
everything you tell each other just fits perfectly, almost like you're reading off a script?
I imagine that that's what it's like for duo comedians to be on stage together. You work off
each other so well that you can make a living off of it. Isn't that the dream?

I guess it doesn't really matter how I feel about it, because this particular person is too
busy to even have a conversation with me these days. And I get it. And I don't blame them.
But I am alone out here, and I'm ill, and I'm tired, and I want someone to talk to right
now. You can't blame me for missing our conversations if they make me feel like lightning
is coursing through my veins.

...Of course I haven't told them this. And I won't. I don't want to ruin this friendship by
coming across as too eager. I have to be the cool person. I shouldn't talk unless spoken to,
and I should make free drawings for everyone. Maybe that way I'll be able to fix the
perception they probably have of me, the one I ruined by talking about myself too much.
I'm a selfish bitch. That's a fact. But I can hide that part of me. Nobody has to know.