01-08-2021

nothing. the original entry was something about necrophilia. I'll probably write an article
about that subject again some other time, anyways, so nothing interesting or noteworthy was
lost.

03-10-2021

How the hell is it the tenth month of this year already. I was going to say it felt like it
went by super quickly, but I don't actually think it did. People are ever changing, and at
the moment I find myself unable to remember the things that happened this year. I know that
I got a job last month (and subsequently got fired because I got ill in my first month...) and
I know that in January or so a relative woke me up at 4 or 5 in the morning so we could be the
first to walk through the snow that had just fallen. I remember it was so cold that my body
was aching all over, and I know that said relative at one point peed themselves. during the
walk. Because of that, we weren't able to take the bus back home as we had originally intended
to do. By the time we finally arrived home I was so cold I couldn't feel anything at all,
not even the pain that I'd felt earlier that morning. This is the last clear memory I have
of this year.

During the spring and summer this year, I was trying very desperately to please a group of
friends who would never be that kind to me in return. Cutting them off has left an empty
feeling inside of me that hasn't fully healed yet. I feel annoyed at myself. If I had just
never befriended them in the first place, I wouldn't be hurting now.